


Even the Darkest Water

by FionasEmbrace



Category: Shin Sangokumusou | Dynasty Warriors
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FionasEmbrace/pseuds/FionasEmbrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving Zhang Xiu's forces, Jia Xu becomes an advisor under Cao Wei and collaborates with Guo Jia. Their combined tactics enable the campaign against Yuan Shao. Unbeknownst to him, Guo Jia has a secret plan of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even the Darkest Water

**Author's Note:**

> Style names: Guo Jia is Fengxiao, Jia Xu is Wenhe. Xiahou Dun is Yuanrang.  
> While style names are not used in English DW, they are used here to help reduce ambiguity.
> 
>  
> 
> Primarily Jia Xu/Guo Jia. Dong Zhuo mentioned briefly

He already knew his days were numbered. Leaning against the door frame, short on breath, Guo Jia awaited his visitor in anticipation of getting it over with. Shortly after his appointment to Cao Wei's forces through Xun Yu, the symptoms began. It was something he kept secret for as long as possible. Most certainly, the man's lifestyle- one of long, stressful military planning sessions, followed by night-long parties and drinking to excess- may have definitely contributed to his condition. At first, it was minor- some coughing fits every now and then, dizziness, spotting of blood. He dismissed them as nothing; a natural symptom of overworkedness. War had taken its toll on everyone. All the same, in time the symptoms worsened, and were impossible to keep secret. He had continual fainting spells and coughing fits. When Cao Cao, acting Prime Minister at the time, noticed the problem, he summoned an apprentice of Hua Tuo, famous medical practitioner from Qiao, to examine Fengxiao.

There were footsteps outside the door. Guo Jia winced and looked over, incredibly anxious to get this over with. Regaining his composure, he stood back from the door and straightened out his clothing, discarding the bloody cloth. He heard a page's voice.

"Sir! A visitor."

He already knew who it was. The notice from Cao arrived several days before. "Yes, please let him in."

The armed page entered together with a studious-looking man dressed who was dressed plainly without armor at all, carrying a wooden box with some vials and written notes on scrolls. How dangerous it is, he thought, bringing types like these onto a battlefield. Although they were not in combat now, the man had no doubt traveled miles and miles to answer Cao's summon. The man politely clasped one fist in the other hand in front of him in a salute as usual, although his hands were hidden behind long sleeves. "It's an honor to finally meet you, General. I am a physician from Pengcheng, answering a charge by lord Cao Wei to help with your illness however I may. Your servant's name is Fan A."

Guo Jia respected the man's qualifications and trouble to come all this way, but felt that this was all a waste of time. Because Cao Cao had insisted he could not say no. "Thank you. I've heard you were able to cure a number of people of coughing diseases."

"Oh, please, no, my ability is poor and really nothing to write home about. However, I will try to be of some help." This was simple modesty, Fan's reputation preceded him. Still, Fengxiao guessed that Cao had tried to acquire Fan A's master, but could not on such short notice. Fan A set his baggage down on the ground and began removing the cloth covering the box. "So, my understanding is, you have fainting spells?"

"Yes." Guo Jia began answering all of the other man's questions. About how many years he had been in battle, his age, his habits, and so forth. How often the faintness happened. He really disliked anything to do with physicians and avoided them whenever necessary. Soon he had taken off his tunic and let Fan listen to his heart, poke at his ribs and his neck, and searched his back for ill omens. For someone who had seen a lot of battle, Guo Jia had hardly any scars or any blemish at all, although Fan kept this to himself. Fengxiao was never on the front lines, so he never had to risk his safety putting himself under the sword, Going by physical scars alone, it was always easy to tell who fought where. The generals leading the charges were always identifiable as so.

His mind wandered, and he thought of his last visit to the palace gardens. He was quickly bored of having someone poking at his body like this. Truthfully, he wished he could go there again now. In the spring, if the time was right, one could see blossoming of the plum trees; there was an endless sea of tiny pale flowers, and herons gathered around the ponds. At this time of year, it was quite beautiful. If only the battles were to cease for a time, there would be more of an opportunity for such excursions. Guo Jia hoped to set aside his normal routines to lurk there again. For some reason it always made him consider his own vices. He lent his talent to Cao Mengde, and pushed for the warlord's success, but his real desires were elsewhere. Night after night, he celebrated each victory in battle with lavish feasts, gambling, drinking to excess, and prostitutes.

"Does that hurt?"

"No, it's fine."

Even though the strategist was content with that kind of life away from the front lines, it was missing something. There was a certain officer, one of his peers in Cao's forces, by the name of Jia Xu. Their talent and wits were quite evenly matched, although Jia Xu was a bit more advanced in years and service. The thing is, he had this kind of fascination with Jia Xu. The man always looked- it was hard to find the right word- *shifty*? And there was some truth to it- Jia Xu was indeed a user of dirty tricks and a traitor. Under the service of Zhang Xiu, he plied Dian Wei with alcohol to lay an ambush on him and Cao Cao. Then he orchestrated a way to turn coat, forcing Zhang Xiu to surrender to Cao Cao and take up the fight against Yuan Shao.

Now, Jia Wenhe swore service to Cao Cao; but who knew for how long? Rather than entirely distrustful, he was taken to Wenhe's ruthlessness, his sharp intellect, and willingness to join Wei despite the risks. Besides the obvious, Wenhe had made enemies with Xiahou Dun. The one-eyed general would never trust him for the near-murder of his lord and Dian Wei. For everything he's done, Xiahou Yuanrang may very well wind up killing Wenhe if nobody else did.

Come to think of it, as seasons passed, and the months of war wore on, Guo Jia simply could no longer really be sated any longer by drink or the normal things. There was a sense of irony about it all. He enjoyed a great deal of success after joining Cao's forces. The prime minister was liberal with rewarding his favorite officers, and Fengxiao was certainly one of them.

He glanced into Fan's eyes, then away.

Fengxiao had a way with words and his eloquence impressed Cao. On one occasion, Fengxiao simply listed, point by point, some words of unconditional praise of Cao Cao and scrutiny of Yuan Shao, and that alone was enough to win him a great deal of favor with his lord and with the court. And speaking of favor, Guo Jia had enough natural good looks to have anyone in the world. Indeed, he had his fill of all the prostitutes, beautiful men and women and palace concubines his heart ever desired. To think just a few short years ago, he was a relatively unknown city official with little power at all. Now, due to Cao Cao's charitability-if it could be called that- he had money, land, a rank, servants, practically anything he wanted.

But for now, he didn't want the 'world'.

Jia Xu was his colleague and fellow strategist of Wei. They trusted and relied on one another's decisions on the battlefield. Still, Jia Wenhe presented a certain danger, a brilliant peer, a threat to his master; all of that, mixed with unattainability. While Wenhe was always kind to him, and treated him amicably, it was never that simple. He had no proof, but felt like there was something darker about that man, something that made him different from the others. He betrayed Zhang Xiu and gave up the man's forces to achieve his own personal end; what was to say he wouldn't do the same to Cao Cao? To Guo Jia? Inevitably, Guo Jia considered what it would be like to be close to him. To take comfort in each other and to share intimate thoughts, all the things he would tell no one else. And - though the idea was more than a bit shameful- to-

"Ow!"

"My apologies, General."

No, that was inappropriate. Jia Xu was his colleague and fellow strategist of Wei. They trusted and relied on one another's decisions on the battlefield. Despite all his off-duty behavior, Fengxiao had, somewhere, the slightest modicum of propriety. No, really. It would be wrong to jeopardize all that for his own short-term longings. He needed to get all of this under control. Still he couldn't put the idea aside.

Fan put down his implement, indicating he was done. Finally, it was over. While it was clear he was trying to be gentle, his hands were awfully cold and gave him goosebumps. Guo Jia began to put his tunic back on, as the physician backed off and sat politely across from him, beginning to put his materials back into their wooden box.

Sagely, he offered, "The problem, General, is this: you have a naturally weak constitution. The human spirit can only be stretched so thin. If you keep going about things the way you are now, it won't bode well at all for you." Guo Jia wasn't very interested in all these details again. The physician continued on about the strain of battle and scarcity of a person's energy, and so forth. "Normally I wouldn't specifically advise this, but the very best option for you is to adapt a more modest lifestyle. That means fewer parties, and more sleep. And, in your case, to abstain from drink altogether." Well I'll be, that's a good one, Guo Jia thought. As if he could go without for even a few days, much less a lifetime! Let's not do that and say we did.

"I understand. Thank you for all your wisdom and trouble coming here. My lord Cao gives his regards." Fengxiao thanked the physician for his impossible advice. Fan finished packing up all the things he brought with him, and took his leave.

Maybe it was closer to his grasp than he thought. He could try different ways to get the strategist's attention. They always chatted before and after battles. Fengxiao would compliment the other man's skills. Sometimes he would give him a subtle smile. But it was all proving to be *too* subtle. Wenhe never picked up on any of his signals. No, it was time to up the ante. What exactly would it take, to make the other man see him as something more than a colleague, or a friend of convenience. Perhaps, this question was better asked a different way: was Guo Jia above using his illness to get to Jia Xu?

The answer was, "no".

The plan was, for the most part, foolproof. He would wait for the correct moment, and feign another moment of weakness, collapsing on the other man. It was true, his illness caused the occasional weakness in the knees, sometimes dizziness, but so rarely was it serious enough for him to fall to the ground without the support of another. At least, it did not happen nearly as often as he let on. Now, it was no trouble to relish in it as it suited him. Even if Jia Xu simply thought nothing of it, of having the other man in his arms, it was more than worthwhile for Guo Jia. He longed to feel the other man's breath on him, the warmth of his embrace, even as a fleeting feeling.

The page escorted Fan out of the hall. Guo Jia finished fastening his garments and put the tea set away. This conquest might not be impossible. He had been with men before, even, but supposed the other strategist was different from them. There was something of a mystery and of violence in the other man's eyes. They were the eyes of someone capable of anything. Sometimes, his mind swam while thinking of the older strategist. It drifted from warm, good thoughts toward things that were forbidden. He wondered what it would be like to lie with him; what Wenhe was really like, underneath it all. If he had to guess, dark and conniving. Maybe he would restrain the younger man with one of his chains. Maybe he would bend him over a table and twist his arm behind his back. He would let him.

"General!"

He snapped out of it and focused his attention to the page again. It was the same young man as before. He came back after escorting the guest, and seemed out of breath from running. It was good timing. Any longer and Guo Jia risked an uncomfortable situation.

"What is it?"

"Lord Cao is calling a meeting in the central pavilion. All of our strategic consults are invited to attend. He asks for your presence straight away... You, specifically."

The man sighed; he already knew what this was about; the next step in the campaign against Yuan Shao. He never thought highly of the Yuans. Their leader was unfit to control his officers and proved time and time again to be a poor judge of talent. Even these two things alone were sufficient to doom any warlord, but Yuan Shao suffered from this together with other deeper organizational problems in his army. Indeed, the Yuans had already lost out on having the likes of Zhang He in their ranks, and Jia Xu, since Jia Xu ended up on the other side. Fengxiao was not overly concerned with the battle that lay ahead. He left the hall, and headed for the pavillion in the middle of the camp.

Underneath the shade of the large, furnished structure, Cao Cao was already there, together with advisers Xun Yu and Cheng Yu gathered around the map. Some guards stood at each pillar keeping watch. The councilors spoke animatedly and pushed some markers around. Guo Jia saw Jia Xu strolling in from the distance. That man could always get away with being a bit late. And, eschewing just a bit of the formality used by the others around Cao. Everyone was simply used to it.

"Guo Jia! And now, Jia Xu. You two are finally here; how I've been waiting." There was no anger in his Cao's voice this time, just anxiousness. He was too focused on the plans in front of him to give a reprimand about punctuality. "Let us discuss our positions. There are ten thousand men positioned here, and the Wuhuan are not far away. We must retake the mountain."

"My lord, fear not- This is quite straightforward; here is how we will do it." Guo Jia and Jia Xu collaborated to produce a foolproof strategy. They worked well together. Guo Jia tended to stick more to textbook wisdom, and use his extensive knowledge of battles past to predict the future. Jia Xu did all this as well, but was a bit more ruthless. Together they devised a swift attack on the Wuhuan in the north, delaying the advance against Liu Bei until a more appropriate time, exploiting the tension between Liu Bei and Liu Biao. This would secure the Yijing and Wuzhong districts with absolute certainty. Cao Cao was impressed by the plan and declared he was of the same mind, and then the council was adjourned.

All the strategists left for their quarters. Fengxiao's and Jia Xu's tents were in the same direction, along a lane westward of the central pavilion. They often walked together like this, discussing the latest battle or their last board game together.

"So, you suppose we will be able to get the trenches dug out in time?" Jia Xu asked.

"Yes, it shouldn't take longer than half a year. There is no way the Wuhuan can mobilize before that, in any case."

"Hmm, I suppose so." He seemed to be pondering something.

"Wenhe, my strategies are no match for yours. There's no need to mince your words with me." Guo Jia said. He had a habit of humbling himself a little bit around Jia Xu sometimes, in the interest of seeming cute. Jia Xu wasn't too interested in it.

"Oh, not at all. I hardly have anything more failsafe than the plan you proposed, young master." Somehow, he doubted that was true, but so be it. They approached Jia Xu's lodging, a room in the far section of the complex. It wasn't anything lavish, certainly nothing so grand as where Cao Cao or his family stayed, but it suited him. "This has been a lot of excitement for today. I ought to retire now, for the evening."

"If it's not imposing too much, shall we have some tea?" If Guo Jia were anybody else, he wouldn't venture such an invitation for fear of being poisoned right then and there. The other generals distrusted him from the start.

Jia Xu seemed a little surprised at the offer, but replied "Sure, why not."

They went inside. Jia Xu used a torch from outside to light the fire and boil the water. The metal basin and small cups, along with everything else he had, was very simple. Guo Jia took a look around. So many scrolls, maps and tomes stored disorganized along the walls, some spilling onto the floor. No doubt this is how he occupied his time.

"Wenhe, may I ask you something?"

"Mm-hm." He began lighting the small kiln in front of them.

"You served a few masters before our lord Cao."

"That's true."

"I know who your first master was. It was the slayer of the Ten Attendents, was it not? What was it like, serving under Dong Zhuo?" Jia Xu was surprised at this question, nearly dropping the flint. It was no secret, people talk, but he didn't expect the man to bring this up now. This was bringing back memories from what seemed like ages ago.

That post under Dong Zhuo was his introduction into the world of corruption, and feudal control. While Cao Cao's reign was based around obedience to strength and ambition, Dong Zhuo's was based on the absolute subjugation of the people, lust and decadence. A lot of things happened back then. There was, somehow, almost a hint of embarrassment in his voice. "What do you mean?"

"Was it any different, from now? From your current post?"

Jia Xu stared downward, pensively, choosing his words. There was a small smile. "Of course it was." There was a lot he could say, but ideally he would prefer to keep to himself. He could talk about the long nights not being able to sleep due to the screams from the dungeons below. That tyrant imprisoned anyone who so much as looked at him the wrong way. The gluttony of the man, his spending driving the entire capital to ruin, exterminating so many peasants for minor or no offenses. For no other reason than a show of power, he killed and cannibalized a peasant once. There was the seizing of city assets, constraining free people into serfdom. And then there was the Changan's palace's descent from a noble landmark of the emperor's lineage, to the convenient new venue for all his debauchery. The burning of Luoyang marked this change of power.

For the most part, his responsibility was military matters only. Dong Zhuo's personal debauchery was always kept away from him. That is, except for that day.

Specifically, he was thinking of Meiwu, Dong Zhuo's self-called "Palace of Pleasures". After gaining control of the emperor, Dong Zhuo moved all the palace maids regardless of upbringing into Meiwu so that they would all be his alone and he could make with all of them. Even the proudest, wealthiest noblewomen, relatives of Emperor Xian, had to either serve him or else face exile into peasanthood. The palace was a continuous orgy for him only, full of his semen and spent bodies. For days on end he would bask in depravity and sin and sex, even while growing fat on the lavish feasts draining the city treasuries dry.

Back then, it was true- Jia Xu was not interested in Dong Zhuo's personal exploits or what he did at Meiwu. However, Dong Zhuo occasionally held council there, so visiting Meiwu was inevitable. He remembered shamefully one incident there. It was after the council was over and most of the other advisers had dispersed. Jia Xu was alone in the study, but could vividly hear what was transpiring on the other side of the door. Unable to resist, he put his ear against it. There was a rhythmic banging against the door, some gasps, with loud male groaning. It was disgusting but he could not break away. He heard hands pawing at the door on the other side, the rattle of chains, and moans of pleasure. Jia Xu closed his eyes, and could not suppress a sick feeling of desire, a sharp breath and blood flowing downwards. He didn't even know who it was on the other side.

In service to Cao Cao, sure, he would have enough clout to get himself out of these uncomfortable situations and just leave. Back then, however, he was a relatively unknown officer with a lowly post, and the job serving Dong Zhuo was the best thing he could get. At that isolated moment, his mind was clouded by lust and he wasn't even sure he wanted to leave.

And in his memory after that, the door swung open. Jia Xu was as embarrassed as he'd ever been, standing there in front of his lord with a semi-noticeable symptom in his pants. At the other side of the door was none other than the corpulent Dong Zhuo, still clothed but with most of the ties loosened. The maid getting dressed was off at the side of the room. At least he had the decency to put his member back in his pants. He remembered that awful, disgusting voice. "Well, if it isn't our trusty new adviser! Just the one I was looking for. And from the looks of it, you would like to join in some of the festivities!" He said this while scanning the other man up and down.

"My lord, I wouldn't want to impose." If only there was a way to weasel out of this one.

"Don't be ridiculous. Now, come in here. I have a task for you, and it's of the highest priority, utmost importance." Oh, no.

Jia Xu sighed inwardly, bowed his head slightly and clasped one hand in the other in a salute, not allowing his voice to falter. "I am at your service."

"Bwahahaha!"

Dong Zhuo dragged Jia Xu by the arm to the center of the room. At the head of the room was a throne adorned with many riches and jewels, with maidens on either side holding large feathery fans meant for keeping Dong Zhuo comfortable. He deposited Jia Xu there, and barked out an order to another servant. "Bring him in!"

The front door opened to reveal a general that Jia Xu recognized, being dragged forward by either arm. There were a couple minor scrapes and bruises on this general's body; evidently he'd gotten a lashing sometime before. He was fully armed still, evidently coming back from an assignment, but his escorts removed his helmet and sword. Dong Zhuo lounged back in his throne, cuing the maids to fan him, and gestured where the servants should place the general.

"Zhao Cen, how unfortunate it is to have this conversation together, today. I trusted you. You are one of my most worthy generals. Why, then, are you scheming with the likes of traitors?"

"Forgive me, but I have done no such thing, my lord."

"Lies!! What are these letters that keep arriving for you? I know. Letters of conspiracy." In his filthy hands he held up some letters, mostly half-burnt and in tatters. Only a few words were legible at all. Jia Xu had no idea Zhao Cen was suspected for treachery. It all seemed to make sense now, though. He did see that man and Wang Yun talking together an awful lot. He couldn't prove it now, but in his heart he suspected Wang Yun was up to something.

"I swear on my life, those are letters from my relatives. I burned them because there was no firewood, with the treasuries empty, there was no money for more."

"Insolence! More useless babble from a worthless insect. You, there. Mmmm." In an absent-minded gesture he grabbed one of the maids near him and pulled her close, grabbing at her chest and sticking his tongue in her ear.

"Please, my lord, forgive any insubordination of mine. Punish me how you will. But, please spare my wife and children. I have two young ones, please don't cause them to grow up without a father. I promise to you I am no traitor." Zhao Cen pleaded.

"Ugh!" Dong Zhuo made a noise of frustration. "Li Ru, what say you?" Li Ru was Dong Zhuo's most trusted strategic adviser. Lord Dong was unskilled in strategy, or practically anything other than constant feasts and sex, and had such poor judgment, so he deferred most of his decisions to Li Ru, Jia Xu, or one of the other scholarly people.

Li Ru had a calm, scholarly voice. He was accustomed to putting up with Dong Zhuo's antics. "Master Dong, let us forgive Zhao Cen. We have no material evidence that he is a traitor, and he has proven himself to you many times. It would be a waste to lose such a valiant general over a false charge, wouldn't it?"

"Hmph!" Dong Zhuo dumbly iterated over the situation in his head. Maybe, just maybe, it would be more valuable to keep him. "Fine." He sounded utterly displeased. "Zhao Cen, you make keep your head and your post. *This* time." The man was very obviously relieved. "But, you must prove yourself to me once more. I must be absolutely certain of your loyalty."

Jia Xu, still on the sidelines, thought to himself about what on earth that could mean.

Dong Zhuo let forth a horrible, perverse smile. "Come here." Zhao Cen crept up toward the throne, on his hands and knees. "No, closer." He crept up a bit more, until he was only a single pace away. "You there, maiden, hold him up." The maid dressed in blue grabbed Zhao Cen and pushed him toward Dong Zhuo. He fixed his garments for what he had in mind. "Show me a good time, insect."

Zhao Cen hesitated, not expecting it to come down to this. Jia Xu made a mental note not to ever do anything suspicious, ever. Zhao Cen knew he needed to obey, but had trouble bringing himself to do it. Dong Zhuo grew impatient and shouted at the maiden. "Push him down! And you, Jia Xu." The maiden placed one hand on the man's shoulder, and the other at the back of his neck. Her grip was gentle, but insistent, and enough to coerce Zhao Cen forward. It was too much and he nearly choked.

"Jia Xu, take his other side, and make sure he does his job." Jia Xu obediently took Zhao Cen's left arm, while the maiden still had his right, and helped push his face into Dong Zhuo, over and over. The other maidens continued to fan the enthroned man. Jia Xu never signed up for this. In that moment, he sincerely wondered how someone so despicable as Dong Zhuo could exist. True, Wenhe was not perfect either. He was an opportunist and pretended no high-minded ideals about uniting the country for peace. That was a luxury for other people. Still, this was a kind of debauchery he had never seen before. It dripped with the saliva down Zhao Cen's mouth, sullying his mustache and short beard, as the tyrant finally finished with him. The maiden helped the general back, and Jia Xu simply backed off.

"Bwahahaha! You are all worthless. Now, get him out of my sight." Zhao Cen bowed low once again, in the dreary and rehearsed way which he was used to.

"My lord's magnanimousness is without limits." Then Li Ru and another servant escorted him out.

Jia Xu quickly saluted in leave-taking and began to saunter away.

"Wait. I didn't say you could go." Jia Xu's blood froze as he heard these awful words. Surely, he wasn't on suspicion of treachery as well. He turned around slowly and bowed his head once more like the others. "You come here, as well."

Jia Xu crept up to the tyrant, although he was still standing. Dong Zhou roughly grabbed the back of the man's head by his headscarf. He always wore it, even back then. The tyrant yanked him forward so they were eye-to-eye. Wenhe instinctively looked down, but the tyrant's interest in him brought his eyes to meet Dong Zhuo's. Even his eyes were abhorrent and ugly somehow. While he played the servant now, he would not be intimidated. Looking into those eyes, it meant nothing to him, except to seek out a new master soon. He even saw someone who was doomed. No one would stand for him much longer.

"General, do not forget what has happened here. People who are disloyal are punished. I have my eye on everyone here."

After a pause, Jia Xu replied, "Yes."

Finally he was given leave to go, and departed the palace for his own chambers. For some reason, he still could not shake the desire from his head. Leaning back against the wall, he indulged himself in it, then somehow felt corrupted by the whole thing. Dong Zhuo was guilty of so much; the sex palace, the killings, the war crimes.

As a mere adviser rather than an officer-in-combat, Wenhe was isolated from the brunt of it. But no one could render service to Dong Zhuo without knowing what the man was capable of.

Focusing his attention back to reality and the situation at hand, Jia Xu thought about how to express all this to Guo Jia. He had no trouble talking about dark subjects, but usually avoided anything so personal.

"Of course this post is different from the one under Dong Zhuo. Why, I have a much bigger room!" Jia Xu answered.

Guo Jia smiled. Although it was kind of sick he wanted to think that Jia Xu took part in all kinds of debauchery back then. And little did he know that to a certain extent, he did. He was the type of man to do anything to get ahead. But about this, Guo Jia thought better of prying too much. "Having only served Cao Cao, I've seen only a very narrow slice of the world." His gaze trailed off to a corner of the room.

Jia Xu sipped his tea, and sighed. It was warm and comforting. Sometimes Guo Jia said things that reminded him of his age. Ah, well.

For a while longer they discussed strategy and military matters. Since it grew well into the evening, Jia Xu lit a couple small lanterns from the flame that heated the water. The flickering firelight against the pillars of the lanterns cast the familiar pattern against the wall. The din of off-duty soldiers' pacing and talking outside was now gone, replaced with only the chirping of crickets and with the crackle of the fire.

"Wenhe, this tea has been most wonderful, as well as your company. I see that it's late and could not dare to occupy all your time" He stood up to take his leave.

"Good night, young master."

But, as he stood, he stared at something off in the corner. His eyes bore into the empty space, as if in a trance. Wenhe at first dismissed it as the man being lost in thought, but the moment drew on and on and he grew worried. He furrowed his brow, giving a quizzical look, and asked, "young master?"

"I... ah..."

The spell of faintness came on, and Guo Jia felt his legs give way.

Jia Xu rushed to support him, and held him up. Despite being a strategist, Jia Xu was strong and able enough to support the other man's weight without too much trouble, and wasn't one to let the other man fall. His face showed a genuine look of worry and concern. There was clearly something wrong. He didn't know the extent of the other man's illness, or when it would take hold. Despite his sometime-cold exterior, He didn't want to lose one of the most valuable assets to the Wei army and his own dear friend.

Fengxiao clung to the other man like a drowning person hanging onto dry land, winding his arms around his shoulders. He rested his head in the crook of Wenhe's neck. The embrace -since, that's what it had turned into- felt warm and inviting. His arms maintained a limp hold on the other man. Jia Xu's partial plate mail was still on, leaving some parts to easily grab onto. Guo Jia let out a sharp breath of air as he struggled to keep standing.

"Sorry. I'm fine. I seem to have overexerted myself a little today." Jia Xu looked perplexed. In a moment Guo Jia regained a bit of the strength in his legs, and was able to separate himself, although he kept his hands on the other strategist's shoulders. "Jia Xu."

He said nothing in response, but just looked at Guo Jia with interest. Using his full name like that made things sound very serious.

"My health is failing. There is nothing for it. I don't know how much longer it will be until my flame runs out."

"Don't talk like that. Wei needs your skill. You're no use to us dead." He wanted to say that *he* needed him alive, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Wenhe, please..." He continued trying to stand. "Please understand. I've had these certain feelings deep down, locked away. Under any other situation it wouldn't matter, but however selfish it is, I can't bear to leave this world without one last chance of realizing them. " Jia Xu was hearing the words, but had positively no idea what he was talking about. He studied the other man's face, trying to understand what it meant. Fengxiao said, "Forgive me."

Guo Jia leaned in and kissed the other man full on the mouth. He closed his eyes, lost in the moment. Jia Xu's eyes were shot wide open. His body stiffed up as he tried to understand what was happening. Despite his surprise he passively accepted the kiss, not holding on to Guo Jia but not pushing him away either. The moments melted away and soon Guo Jia's hands moved to the back of Jia Xu's head, pushing into him with full force, hands barely sliding under the headscarf. Jia Xu's mouth felt warm and there was the aftertaste of tea. Guo Jia liked the way the man's short mustache and beard scratched against him.

Finally Guo Jia separated himself, still feeling weak in the knees, although now it was for other reasons. He wasn't used to seeing Wenhe like this. While Jia Xu was clearly caught off guard, Guo Jia didn't regret anything.

"Y-young master... Why?"

Even when Guo Jia was expressing contrition, he used that same quaint, amused facial expression. "Forgive me, Wenhe. I've harbored certain feelings for a long time, and while I know we are both men, I longed for us to grow closer together." In his more carefree days Guo Jia had liaisons with so many people, it no longer really mattered to him. "Even when the trap at Wan castle caused our forces so much trouble, even when we lost Dian Wei, our other generals were so livid but I had nothing but admiration for it. Because, I wanted to learn more about your methods. Now that we work together, it is all I could ever ask for. Push me away if you want." He looked down. "The days I have left on this earth are too scarce, anyway."

Jia Xu thought for a moment. Whenever he does this, he puts his hand on his hip for some reason. "I can't begin to understand what you would want with someone like me. Fengxiao, surely you are wily and handsome enough to have anybody you want. So you should know. In the beginning, I set out to trap you, into giving away your tactics to me, your knowledge about the Yuans' weaknesses, and getting me closer into Cao Cao's trust."

This was something Guo Jia suspected all along. Helping the Wei army and collaborating with him could never be enough for Jia Xu. He was secretive about his real plans. "Now, it seems I've been trapped myself." 

Jia Xu could forsee a lot of things, but he never foresaw this. He looked back up at Guo Jia, but still not touching him. His eyebrows still had that always-angry look; he was difficult to read. Guo Jia took the initiative and threw his arms around the other man, kissing him again now more passionately. Jia Xu lifted his hands and rested them on the back of Guo Jia's silky tunic. Guo Jia pushed his whole body into the other strategist, and entered his tongue into the other man's mouth. Seeing that Jia Xu could recipricate his feelings, Guo Jia pulled him close so that their bodies were flush. It felt like paradise, better than any of the fine alcohols he ever tried or other people he had fancied. While he didn't know the future, none of the other things seemed to matter anymore.

And while he hadn't thought deeply about it before, Jia Xu wondered how someone so handsome and trim could find himself on a battlefield, even as an advisor.

Caught up in the moment, Guo Jia grabbed the other man's beard and simply used it to pull his face close.

"Ow!" Jia Xu winced.

"Sorry." It seemed like a good idea at the time. Guo Jia made up for it by caressing the man's face. Jia Xu closed his eyes. Guo Jia was so beautiful, it was hard to be too bothered by him. Since he felt it was in the way, Jia Xu removed his hands from Guo Jia's back to untie his headscarf and toss it to the side, allowing his straight hair to fall normally. Guo Jia had never seen him without the scarf. He took off his hat as well.

Fengxiao kissed the side of the other man's head. "Would it be imposing too much, if I were to stay here for the night?" Jia Xu stammered but gave approval. He never would have imagined in a million years that something like this would be happening, ever. Admittedly, the younger strategist was fairly easy on the eyes, but he never sought out men and didn't want to start with other colleagues in his force.

They pushed and pulled at each other until they were on the floor. Guo Jia put out the lantern nearby. Outside, moonlight poured over the region below and the stars were clear. On any other night, if he was outside and sober enough, he would be studying them. Fengxiao supposed there were portentous omens in the stars. There were many other mysteries he could not explain. It always made him sentimental to think about these things. In any case, all he wanted now was to keep Jia Xu here and give himself over after all this time, despite the risks. There was no use worrying about it right this minute. Guo Jia would know when his time was up. 


End file.
